The Dreaded Birthday Dinner

The dreaded birthday dinner: it happens constantly, especially in cities like New York where people don't entertain at home.  Here is the usual scenario: You are are pretty good friends with the birthday boy/girl, and you get invited to their Friday or Saturday night birthday dinner...along with 25 of their other good friends.  Since it's a party night, people are really ready to tie one on so the cocktail ordering begins.  Then someone takes it upon himself to order appetizers for the table.  More cocktails.  You order a sensible entree but the guy who ordered all the appetizers also ends up ordering the most expensive thing on the menu.  More cocktails.  And why not top it off with a few desserts to share and another round of drinks before everyone hits the bars.  And we all know what happens whether you are the guy who ordered the apps and the filet mignon or you are the girl who ordered the side salad---the check gets split evenly.  What's a broke bitch to do!?

If it's your birthday...

- Be considerate of your friends' varying income levels and pick a reasonably priced place.  I go to nymag.com to search their restaurant listings for two $ signs.  This way it is neither a street cart nor Per Se.  My favorite place in NYC for group dinners is Pepe Giallo.  Great food, great price (they also can do a prix fixe), and no cocktails, only vino.

- Choose a spot that has a fixed price dinner menu so there are no surprises and the only variable is booze.

- Go to a place where everyone gets their own ticket like Hill Country.  I have personally had my b-day dinners at the two aforementioned places, so I can vouch for them both (and how much everyone appreciated getting their own check).

- Invite only your inner circle (i.e. less than 10 people) to dinner. Then meet up with everyone else at the bar afterward.

-  Think about doing a dinner during the week or better yet, brunch.  It keeps it a little less boozy and everyone will remember their conversations the next day.

- Don't freak out if a friend is in a pinch and declines the invitation.  Make plans to grab food or a drink in the next week or so to do a mini celebration.  We have all coughed up that $150 for a birthday dinner we truly couldn't afford, and it feels just awful.

If you are a guest...

- If it is one of your bestie's birthdays, you have to go so just put on a smile and cough it up.  Just remember that you will get your time in the sun when it's your birthday. 

- If you are invited by someone you aren't super close with, don't feel bad about declining.  You just have other plans and will meet up with them après for drinks.

- I've pulled this one before - Scheme with a fellow broke friend to show up an hour late (must be after the group has ordered), and ask the waiter for a separate check.  Make sure you tell the host you will be late so you don't look totally rude.

- Bring cash!  The people paying with credit cards always seem to get screwed.

- F*ck it!  Order dirty martinis and lobster tails since the bill will be split anyway.  You'll come out ahead, full, and wasted.  Suckers!!

Shitty-Chic Birthday Cocktail Party Wrap Up

ZOMG where did the last week go?  Travel delays, flight cancellations, and an all around helluva week lead to meager posting opportunities.  Ok, so back the the birthday party.  It was a smashing success!  I'd say for the first hour and a half it was the classy cocktail party I had planned.  Then, of course, the gays took over once a few boozy beverages were had and turned it into a dance party/photo shoot/raucous gathering, but you just have to expect that when the party isn't at your place. 

Ok, here is the rundown on what was spent, what was brought, and the multitude of lessons I learned.

INVITES

- I love iomoi.com's e-stationary for invites, thank you's, and holiday cards.  A one-year subscription is $20, and I have definitely gotten my money's worth.

DECOR

Brought:

- Glass vases for flowers and candles.  This way I could stop by the wholesale flower district and make my own arrangements.  Mucho money saver.

- Gray bedsheet and fabrics I brought back from Bali a few years back for a perfect table cloth

- Cools bowls and trays for garnishes and such.  Maybe I would forgo these in the future, but they did look nice.

Bed Bath & Beyond

- Large ice bucket/tub for chilling vino and vodka - $5

- Tealight caneles (pack of 100--I think I used 20 max) - $6

- Candle lighter - $3.50

28th Street Flower District

- 12 medium monstera leaves from Caribbean Cuts (looks modern and cool and much heartier than flowers in hot temps) - $14

- Three large tropical flowers from Fischer & Page (I went for the bucket with three flowers and picked the two best ones, the guy threw in the third not so great one for free.) - $10

- Note: Bring cash!

William Wayne:

 - Big splurge of the party.  I found napkins at this charming store on University and had to have them.  $18 for two packs of 20.  Great thing is that I still have 10 or so left to enjoy at my apt.

NIBBLES & BOOZE

Fresh Direct saved my life....espeically since the party wasn't at my place AND I had saved a 25% off coupon I got in the mail.  Score!  I could also get the vino delivered through Fresh Direct and their partnership with Union Square Wines which saved my ass.  I enlisted all friends who asked what they could bring to schlep a vodka.....hey, they asked!  :-)

Lessons Learned:

#1 - The party will become it's own beast.  As long as people are having fun just go with it.

#2 - People whom you didn't invite and don't know will show up.  Friends invite friends and expect the creepy neighbor from upstairs to make an appearance.  As long as they don't arrive empty handed,you have made some new friends.

#3 - Midway through the evening head to the drinks table to do a quick clean up and organize.  This way you know what booze and mixers are left and you don't end up with five open bottles of club soda.

#4 - Buy about 3/4 of the booze you think you will need.  Respectable guests will bring vino, and you can enlist your besties to get the hard liquor.  I walked away with three bottles of white and six bottles of red unopened which will become 'bring bottles' for parties this summer.

#5 - Take pictures.  If you are not the best photog get one of your friends to do a once around with the guests.  Get the pics of Facebook so everyone can remember what a great time they had and how amazing you are.  Just kidding!

Happy Birthday!

Oh my goodness, today is my birthday!  Tomorrow night I am literally putting my money where my mouth is and throwing a cocktail party for a group of my closest friends to celebrate.  My goal is to have a fabulous soiree and not break the bank.  I will have pics, the monetary run-down, and a recap of the ups and downs for you this weekend.  So far we have already had an emergency location change, a Trader Joe's trip that didn't happen due to crazy crowds, and an 8am trip to Bed, Bath & Beyond, but I am still going strong. 

I'm digging deep and consulting every post I have written that remotely suggests event planning:

Vogue's Budget Savvy Wedding Tips

S-C Guide to the Ultimate Dinner Party

Lady or a Tramp

Delicious Summer Sips

PS - The pic above is my favorite picture in the entire world. 

xo- babs