The Dreaded Birthday Dinner

The dreaded birthday dinner: it happens constantly, especially in cities like New York where people don't entertain at home.  Here is the usual scenario: You are are pretty good friends with the birthday boy/girl, and you get invited to their Friday or Saturday night birthday dinner...along with 25 of their other good friends.  Since it's a party night, people are really ready to tie one on so the cocktail ordering begins.  Then someone takes it upon himself to order appetizers for the table.  More cocktails.  You order a sensible entree but the guy who ordered all the appetizers also ends up ordering the most expensive thing on the menu.  More cocktails.  And why not top it off with a few desserts to share and another round of drinks before everyone hits the bars.  And we all know what happens whether you are the guy who ordered the apps and the filet mignon or you are the girl who ordered the side salad---the check gets split evenly.  What's a broke bitch to do!?

If it's your birthday...

- Be considerate of your friends' varying income levels and pick a reasonably priced place.  I go to nymag.com to search their restaurant listings for two $ signs.  This way it is neither a street cart nor Per Se.  My favorite place in NYC for group dinners is Pepe Giallo.  Great food, great price (they also can do a prix fixe), and no cocktails, only vino.

- Choose a spot that has a fixed price dinner menu so there are no surprises and the only variable is booze.

- Go to a place where everyone gets their own ticket like Hill Country.  I have personally had my b-day dinners at the two aforementioned places, so I can vouch for them both (and how much everyone appreciated getting their own check).

- Invite only your inner circle (i.e. less than 10 people) to dinner. Then meet up with everyone else at the bar afterward.

-  Think about doing a dinner during the week or better yet, brunch.  It keeps it a little less boozy and everyone will remember their conversations the next day.

- Don't freak out if a friend is in a pinch and declines the invitation.  Make plans to grab food or a drink in the next week or so to do a mini celebration.  We have all coughed up that $150 for a birthday dinner we truly couldn't afford, and it feels just awful.

If you are a guest...

- If it is one of your bestie's birthdays, you have to go so just put on a smile and cough it up.  Just remember that you will get your time in the sun when it's your birthday. 

- If you are invited by someone you aren't super close with, don't feel bad about declining.  You just have other plans and will meet up with them après for drinks.

- I've pulled this one before - Scheme with a fellow broke friend to show up an hour late (must be after the group has ordered), and ask the waiter for a separate check.  Make sure you tell the host you will be late so you don't look totally rude.

- Bring cash!  The people paying with credit cards always seem to get screwed.

- F*ck it!  Order dirty martinis and lobster tails since the bill will be split anyway.  You'll come out ahead, full, and wasted.  Suckers!!

Let's Get Fired Up!

I am so excited about heading to D.C. this weekend to go to the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear.  Yes, I am one of many Americans in my age group who gets a healthy dose of their news from the likes of Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert (along with the NYTimes).  Hey, I'm a busy girl and if I can get news and laughs at the same time well count me in! 

So, I am packing for my jaunt this afternoon and am asking myself....what does one wear to a political rally?  Especially one whose sole purpose is to promote reason.  The obvious choices include comfortable shoes since I will be standing and walking around all day (very reasonable), and I guess nothing that constricts the arms too much since I will want them available for wildly shaking fists (or not since that wouldn't be very reasonable).  And on top of that I need some sort of Halloween costume to wear on Saturday night (throw reasonable out the window).

In all actuality, I am a master of the traveling arts with a black belt in packing.  I think it has been years since I checked luggage, and it helps that I have no problem with wearing the same pair of pants three days in a row (just change the tops and accessories!).  So here is the wardrobe rundown: 1 pair of pants, two shirts (one dressy one casual), one layering sweater, two undies, two pairs of socks, sleeping clothes, and one blond wig for my Halloween costume.  All this + what I am wearing on the megabus.  Many times I have been called "The Voice of Reason" by one of my best friends, and this weekend I get to express all my reasonableness loudly and proudly!

REMEMBER TO VOTE ON TUESDAY NOV 2ND!!

If you don't then no bitchin'!

Check out user-submitted rally signs at SaneOrNot.com.  So funny!

How To: Saber a Champagne Bottle

I always find it fun to have a few parlor tricks up my sleeve when going to a party, and I think learning how to saber a champagne bottle puts you on that 'renegade meets bon vivant' level of fabulous.  This trick is pretty top tier, so if you don't have the guts to pull it off in front of a crowd I suggest either practicing at home until you can't stand the taste of bubbly or stick to helping your hostess refill drinks. 

Important things to remember:

- Not all champagne bottles will work.

- Keep the metal basket on the cork.

- Use the dull side of the chef knife.

- Do not perform at homes where people have kids (fleshy, pink toes + tiny glass shards = disaster).

- It's more of a punching than a slicing motion.

Cheers!!

Chelsea Art Walk Tonight!

I am kicking myself for not becoming a gallery junkie when I actually lived in Chelsea, but tonight all can be rectified!  Check out the Chelsea Art Walk, July 29th from 5-8pm (with a nightcap at B.E.S., one of the event's sponsors, afterwards) on 20th - 28th Street west of 10th Ave.  Galleries will be staying open late, neighborhood purveyors of food and drink will have great specials, and you can count on cool events, DJs, and book signings.  Let's get the weekend started early!!  

Click here for a list of participating galleries, events, and food deals.

Get Your Sweat On with MoMA P.S. 1 Warm Up Saturdays

I absolutely love entertaining guests from out of town.  Chances are there is someone else in the city they also want to meet up with, and one thing leads to another and you are mashed up with two new people you never knew doing something totally new.  This is exactly what happened this past weekend when the four of us boarded the 7 train and headed to Long Island City (just across the East River) for MoMA PS1's Warm Up party.  I never even knew this even existed, but thanks to a new friend-of-a-friend we had a blast....as you can see from the above photo.   The party, which happens every Saturday through September 4th, was a very cool mix people, bands (either live or DJ sets), and access to the three story art museum housed in an old school building...hence the name P.S. 1.  The people watching was amazing, the water misters were a godsend (and inspired some partygoers into a Woodstock meets spring break meets dance-a-thon meets chicken fight meets hipster version of a wet t-shirt contest frenzy), the beer was cold, and Ratatat was off the chain.  For an afternoon of people watching, a little boozing, art, music, and a throng of the hipster humanity, this was well worth my $15. My supreme advice would be to get there around 5 and stay till 8 to beat the heat and the crowded subway back.  Definitely go check this out by the time September rolls around. 

MoMA PS1's Warm Up 2010
Every Saturday 2pm - 9pm from July 3rd through September 4th, 2010
Click here for the deets on the music, directions, and other wonderful info.

Photo by Barbara K.

Shitty-Chic Birthday Cocktail Party Wrap Up

ZOMG where did the last week go?  Travel delays, flight cancellations, and an all around helluva week lead to meager posting opportunities.  Ok, so back the the birthday party.  It was a smashing success!  I'd say for the first hour and a half it was the classy cocktail party I had planned.  Then, of course, the gays took over once a few boozy beverages were had and turned it into a dance party/photo shoot/raucous gathering, but you just have to expect that when the party isn't at your place. 

Ok, here is the rundown on what was spent, what was brought, and the multitude of lessons I learned.

INVITES

- I love iomoi.com's e-stationary for invites, thank you's, and holiday cards.  A one-year subscription is $20, and I have definitely gotten my money's worth.

DECOR

Brought:

- Glass vases for flowers and candles.  This way I could stop by the wholesale flower district and make my own arrangements.  Mucho money saver.

- Gray bedsheet and fabrics I brought back from Bali a few years back for a perfect table cloth

- Cools bowls and trays for garnishes and such.  Maybe I would forgo these in the future, but they did look nice.

Bed Bath & Beyond

- Large ice bucket/tub for chilling vino and vodka - $5

- Tealight caneles (pack of 100--I think I used 20 max) - $6

- Candle lighter - $3.50

28th Street Flower District

- 12 medium monstera leaves from Caribbean Cuts (looks modern and cool and much heartier than flowers in hot temps) - $14

- Three large tropical flowers from Fischer & Page (I went for the bucket with three flowers and picked the two best ones, the guy threw in the third not so great one for free.) - $10

- Note: Bring cash!

William Wayne:

 - Big splurge of the party.  I found napkins at this charming store on University and had to have them.  $18 for two packs of 20.  Great thing is that I still have 10 or so left to enjoy at my apt.

NIBBLES & BOOZE

Fresh Direct saved my life....espeically since the party wasn't at my place AND I had saved a 25% off coupon I got in the mail.  Score!  I could also get the vino delivered through Fresh Direct and their partnership with Union Square Wines which saved my ass.  I enlisted all friends who asked what they could bring to schlep a vodka.....hey, they asked!  :-)

Lessons Learned:

#1 - The party will become it's own beast.  As long as people are having fun just go with it.

#2 - People whom you didn't invite and don't know will show up.  Friends invite friends and expect the creepy neighbor from upstairs to make an appearance.  As long as they don't arrive empty handed,you have made some new friends.

#3 - Midway through the evening head to the drinks table to do a quick clean up and organize.  This way you know what booze and mixers are left and you don't end up with five open bottles of club soda.

#4 - Buy about 3/4 of the booze you think you will need.  Respectable guests will bring vino, and you can enlist your besties to get the hard liquor.  I walked away with three bottles of white and six bottles of red unopened which will become 'bring bottles' for parties this summer.

#5 - Take pictures.  If you are not the best photog get one of your friends to do a once around with the guests.  Get the pics of Facebook so everyone can remember what a great time they had and how amazing you are.  Just kidding!

S-C Guide to the Ultimate Dinner Party...with a Little Help from GQ

Sometimes I am totally blown away by things I find in GQ, and I immediately think 'why the hell don't I find articles like this in women's magazines?'  This goes for everything from how to brew amazing iced coffee at home to my newest fav: Everything You Need to Know to Entertain at Home with Style and Ease.  Of course, my apartment can hold all of 6 people and is basically standing room only, so that is not going to work out.  However, my bestie just moved into a new place that is screaming for some adult entertainment (dinner party....not naked dancing people).  GQ gives you 26 guidelines to be the ultimate host, but I think I can condense that down to 10.  Full the full list click here.

For the Host:

1. Keep the menu simple: pre-dinner nibbles, main, side and/or salad, and dessert.  No one is expecting a 7-course tasting menu, and it's even better if you can do something like pasta or anything braised.   Your place will smell amazing, and you just need to assemble ingredients or pull it out of the oven and voila!

2. One word on pre-dinner nibbles: Simplicity.  Good olives, cheese, crusty bread, tapenade/hummus/dip, or roasted nuts.  Done.  I even think a bowl of really good potato chips would be amazing.

3. Clean as you cook.  Perception is reality: if the kitchen looks calm and orderly, your guests will automatically be at ease.  Everything will seem under control...even if it isn't.

4.  Make it luxe with lighting and fresh flowers and not those awful pre-mixed bouquets.  Stick with one type of flower for a chic look and something unscented like tulips.   Luckily in NYC you can find a good assortment at most delis.  Also, you can pick up a dimmer extension cord for $15 if you don't have your lamps on dimmers.

5.  Get an ice bucket ready for white wine, champers, and sparkling water.  Nothing says party like an ice bucket, and this keeps guests from having to run to the kitchen to get a refill.

6. Have the music going and unscented candles lit before your guests arrive.  If your party is four hours, make the playlist for six.  And, DO NOT have the television on (unless you are watching the Super Bowl).  Instant party killer. 

7. Immediately get a drink in your guests' hand and make a few introductions if they don't know each other....especially if you have to duck back in the kitchen to finish anything.

8.  Refill, refill, refill--never let a guest's glass go empty.  Enlist someone to help you with this.  This also prevents people from counting how many drinks they have had, and we all know more drinks means more fun.

9. Go back to basics for dessert like you did with the nibbles:  Fresh baked cookies, really good ice cream with toppings, fresh seasonal fruit with creme fraiche or whipped cream (not whipped topping).  Yum.

10.  Don't hide out in the kitchen all night!  Your guests are all there to socialize with you.  Get as much done as you can beforehand, don't be afraid to enlist a guest or two to help you a bit, have a cocktail, and enjoy yourself!

For the Guests:

If you want to be invited back, you need to be a good dinner party guest:

1. Arrive no more than 15-30 minutes late.  You are being served dinner, people are hungry, and you are an ass if they have to wait on you.

2. Never show up empty handed - a bottle of wine or a bag of ice are my two fav party bring-alongs.

3. Don't touch the music.  You are a guest, not a DJ. And if you are a DJ volunteer to do the playlist prior to the party.

4. Don't stay too long.  No one likes the person who can't get the hint that the night is over.  You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.  Make sure you are out of there by midnight.

5. Send a thank you note or email.  It is a huge pain in the ass to have people over so thank your host.